Keep Holding On
by Yourss Truly
Summary: Songfic. No, no, I can’t accept this. It’s way too much to take in. Life will never be the same without him in it. It’s hardly even worth living anymore... The simple tale of what the death of a loved one can do to you.


**Hey, I got it up! For those of you that read my songfic "Girlfriend" before this one, you'll know the technical difficulties I was having with this. But I first copied it to Notepad, then Word, then I saved it there and uploaded it here. So, here it is. The short-awaited (?) Keep Holding On! Enjoy!**

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Lilly's POV

"Miley," I cooed softly. "Miley, honey, it's alright to cry. Just let it all out. It's okay." I stroked her hair as short, choked sobs slowly escaped her throat. She leaned her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around her shaking body.

"I just…" she started, moving to look at me and pausing to take a breath, "I can't believe he's really gone."

"I know, honey. But don't worry; you'll always have me." I tried to smile encouragingly, but I'm not sure if it looked more like a grimace. Miley just nodded, as if she knew what I was trying to say. She leaned her head back on my shoulder as cool rain drops began to fall. The funeral was over, and everyone was starting to scamper away to their cars to avoid the rain.

We stayed and let ourselves be drenched with the freezing water. I suddenly couldn't tell the difference between Miley's tears and the rain drops now pelting my body, and I'm sure one or two of my own tears slipped out and blended with the drops now streaming down my face. I tried to be strong; Miley was always the one with the waterworks. I knew she needed me, and I'd stay with her until she felt ready to move again.

"It feels so… empty… without him," Miley said slowly. I nodded as she continued to cry on my shoulder. "Life will never be the same."

I couldn't believe how hard she was taking this. It pained me as the rain barely drowned out the sound of her strangled sobs.

"Oh, Miley," I whispered. "I'll help you through this. I promise."

**You're not alone, together we stand**

**I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand**

**When it gets cold, and it feels like the end**

**There's no place to go, you know I won't give in**

The next day, Miley and I were walking along the beach. The sun was just setting over the

water as we strode along in silence. The quiet was a nice change. Miley had slept over at my house last night, and I hardly got a wink of sleep; she cried softly all night. I tried comforting her, but she said she didn't want to talk about it, that it was too painful to think about him. It hurt me to look at her; her sad, hopeless expression was almost too much. I wanted to reach out, to offer some sort of comfort, but I couldn't find quite the right thing to say.

"Miley," I tried anyway. She didn't look up. Her eyes were focused on the sand at her feet, and her hair fell over her face in such a way that I couldn't see if she was listening. I went on anyway. "Miley, you know I'm your best friend, and you know that I want nothing more than for you to be happy." I hoped she was hearing all of this. "I know

you loved him, and I know that this is really hard for you. If you don't want to talk about it, then okay, but I think-"

"Lilly," she interrupted me, her voice raspy, yet soft. She still hadn't looked up. "Lilly, this is so hard for me." She finally looked up at me, pushing her hair behind her ears. Her eyes were full of tears, and the frown on her face portrayed nothing but agony and despair. I longed to reach out and give her a warm, comforting hug, but I decided to let her speak first. "I don't know what to think, I don't know what I should do, and I don't know who I am. It's really sinking in now. He's gone. He's never coming back. That's too much, Lilly. I can never see him again. I'll never hear his voice again. It's just too much."

I didn't want to hear this, but I knew she needed to say it. I hoped this was making her feel better, although all I could see from her expression was sadness and longing.

"Oh, Miley, honey, it's gonna be alright," I said soothingly. I don't know how many times I've told her that, but I hoped it wasn't losing its meaning. "We'll get through this – together. I will always be here for you, no matter what."

**Keep holding on**

**Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**

**Just stay strong**

**Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you**

"Promise?" Miley asked, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Of course," I answered. Miley nodded once, then

pulled her arms around me for a hug.

"I just… I wish I could talk to him one more time. I wish I could bring him back," she said, her words muffled by her mass of brown hair. How was I supposed to answer this one? I didn't want to say anything that would force her into tears again.

"Oh, Miley. I know you miss him; we all do. But he can't come back, sweetie, no matter how much you want him to. I hate to say it, but… he's gone." That wasn't too harsh… hopefully. She didn't seem to be crying, but then again, her tears came so easily nowadays that I couldn't be sure. I pulled back from the tight embrace to check her face. She was just sort of

staring at me, looking lost and hopeless. Nothing new.

"Miley?" I asked tentatively. She shook her head, tearing her eyes from my face and instead resting them on the sand again.

"No. Don't tell me that, Lilly. I can't take it when you say that." Oh God. So that was the wrong thing to say. I tried to make up for it by pulling her into another hug, but she gently pushed my arms away, tears once again streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry, Miley. I don't know what to say. I'm just as lost as you are." Okay, so that was a lie. But it wasn't like I didn't feel bad, too. And it wasn't like she was easy to read. Why is she getting mad at me? Okay, Lilly, get a hold of yourself. She was way closer to him than you were. I have to help her through this. I promised.

**There's nothing you can say**

**Nothing you can do**

**There's no other way**

**when it comes to the truth**

**So - keep holding on**

**Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**

Miley's POV

No, no, I can't accept this. It's way too much to take in. Life will never be the same without him in it. It's hardly even worth living anymore. He made things fun. He was always so annoying, but in the end, he was one of my best friends. I love him too much to let him go. He was… a part of me.

A part of me that I'll never get back. Why go on like this, torn and broken? Ripped into pieces and scattered left and right, forwards and backwards. Life was great before all of this happened. But now, why would there be any point to living life at all? It would be wrong; me having fun and him who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. That wouldn't be fair. But I can't just go through the motions everyday, not giving a shit or caring what those around me are saying or doing. That wouldn't be right, either.

Now what? This is a question I would ask him, if he was here. He would know the answer. He always knew the answer.

Why am I doing this to myself? I'm torturing myself thinking about him. But he's much too hard to forget. Why should I have to go through with this? I could end it all right now. Those waves look pretty inviting. The way they're thrashing about makes me want to go jump in there and stay underwater until all the pain is gone. Until I feel completely numb. Yes. Numbness sounds like heaven right now.

Heaven. Is that where he is right now? Is this what he would want me to do? Is this what he would want me to think. I can almost hear his voice in my head right now: Don't be stupid, Miley. Think of everyone else; they love you. They couldn't stand to lose us both. Now stop thinking about killing yourself and listen to Lilly.

Lilly. In all of my suicidal planning, I had completely forgotten that she was still standing here. She's still talking; I can see her lips move up and down slowly. I know she's trying to help, but her voice seems so distant. I can't make out what she's saying through the blur that fills my head. I try to shake it off, but it only gets worse. I want to scream out to her, but my voice feels lost somewhere inside me. I don't even remember what my own voice sounds like anymore. The only thing I hear is the harsh crashing of the waves against the shore.

No! I scream inside my head. Lilly seems to sense that something's wrong. She takes me in her arms and gives me another tight hug. Things start to get clearer. I can almost make out what she's saying. It sounds like, "It's okay, Miley. I'm here. It's okay." And somehow, as soon as the words leave her mouth, I know they're true.

"Keep fighting, Miley. We'll get through this," she says softly. The words are crystal clear now. All I can do is nod, because I know he would want me to always keep fighting.

**So far away, I wish you were here**

**Before it's too late, this could all disappear**

**Before the doors close, and it comes to an end**

**With you by my side I will fight and defend**

Lilly's POV

Wow. She seems so messed up. I feel like it's my responsibility to ensure her happiness. But it's possible, I'm sure it is. Time will only tell.

"Miley," I whisper, pulling back from our hug. She seemed reluctant to let go, which made me feel like my job just got a little bit easier.

"Mmmm?" was all she said. Her eyes were transfixed on the sea; the waves were crashing against each other and water sprayed everywhere. We had already had to move back because of the growing tide.

"Honey, I know you'll be okay. Someday, things will go back to normal-"

"Almost-normal," she protested.

"Almost-normal," I echoed, "and you'll be happy again. This was meant to happen, I'm sure. Have you ever heard of kismet?"

She nodded. "Fate."

"Fate. I was once told that whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. And you're not dead, are you?"

"Not yet." The tone of her voice when she said that worried me.

"Oh, honey, don't do that. I know what you're thinking, and I'm forbidding you to ever think of it again. Do you hear me? Would he want you to take your own life?"

She pondered this for a moment, then slowly shook her head. "I guess not," she said, avoiding my eyes.

"Miley, you will get stronger from this. You'll be tougher, and smarter, and your skin will get thicker, and you'll work harder, and you'll learn faster and-"

"You're getting all of this from that Christina Aguilera song," she said, a smile breaking out across her tear-streaked face. I laughed, glad to see that she was smiling again. I hadn't seen the slightest trace of a smile on her pale face since the accident.

"Yes, but the girl knows what she's talking about," I said, pulling Miley into what was probably the fifth hug we've shared that day. When we broke apart, I smiled at Miley, and was positively elated when she returned the smile.

Maybe she was going to pull through, after all.

**Hear me when I say when I say I believe**

**Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny**

**Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly**

"Thank you so much, Lilly. You've really helped me," Miley said, a genuinely happy smile spread wide across her face. "Now all I want to do is kill the drunk driver that took my brother's life." She half-smiled, and I understood her subtle pain.

"Anytime, Miley," I said, returning the small smile. "You know I will always be here for you. I promised, remember?"

"I remember. That's a life sentence, you know," she joked.

"Oh, I know. I'm alright with that," I answered. We laughed together and continued our walk down the now-dark beach. I began to sing Christina Aguilera's song, Fighter, and she joined in happily, singing at the top of her voice.

She'll make it through this. Just like the song says: she's a fighter.

**Keep holding on**

**Cause you know we'll make it through **

**We'll make it through**

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**Well, there it was. I hope it was worth the anxiety. haha. I hope you all liked it, and please review! Gracias! **


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